Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 8

A pair of Spaghetti Westerns led off the viewing, both of which were released back in December to capitalize on Django Unchained. These have about as much to do with the original Django as Tarantino's movie does.

DJANGO KILLS SILENTLY is best described as "serviceable". There is really nothing special going on here and George Eastman as the title character doesn't come off as any sort of real legendary western hero. Even during the climax when it finally seems like the Django character in this flick is going to have a special moment he is quickly put into a compromising situation and has to rely on others. But like I said, it isn't all bad, it just isn't exceptionally good. There are many of the classic spaghetti western cliches which keep it entertaining enough even if it becomes a checklist of cliches.

Then there is DJANGO'S CUT PRICE CORPSES and this is a prime example of a cool title with a movie that doesn't live up to it. A rather lame and tame western that would maybe be okay at the end of a SW triple bill after you've seen a couple good ones and already have your western appetite satisfied. While neither of these movies are particularly bad and it wouldn't be fair to say they're not worth checking out but there are hundreds of other Spaghetti Westerns worth checking out before you get to these. The price (around $5 or $6 for a nicely presented DVD) is right though.

I planned to watch more but it didn't happen... until tomorrow dear readers.

Today's Rundown
Django Kills Silently - 5/10
Django's Cut Price Corpses - 5/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 7

Day 7 was a story of a couple movies being subpar examples of their genre... I feel like that sort of extends to Wrestlemania 29 which I watched that evening... hmmm... Nevermind, at least Wrestlemania gave Daniel Bryan a win at Wrestlemania.

JIVE TURKEY aka BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES is a rather lackluster and poorly written example of blaxploitation, a genre that has some truly great films. While JIVE TURKEY is one of the more bloody movies of the genre at times, the poor writing, lack of interesting characters and paint-by-numbers approach make it something only blaxploitation completists need seek out.

And then there was THE MOLE PEOPLE, the 1956 Universal Sci-Fi flick. I had high hopes for this one as any footage I've ever seen of it looked really cool. Well, most of that footage was of the mole people themselves, a mutant race that has been enslaved deep beneath the Earth's surface by a civilization of people that live off the mushrooms they force their slaves to harvest as they don't need light to grow and light hurts them due to how long they've been subterranean. A group of scientists discover this group by accident and are taken in as gods due to their ability to withstand light, and create it via flashlight, until they're discovered not to be gods and then they get in trouble and the mole people revolt. The end of the movie is cool, and there are some creepy and cool scenes with the mole people but overall THE MOLE PEOPLE was a slow, boring letdown.

Today's Rundown
Jive Turkey - 4/10
The Mole People - 5/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 6

SLIME CITY MASSACRE started out day 6. I saw this movie in a FYE store for under $4 brand new about a week or 2 ago and figured it would be a good fit for this challenge so I grabbed it. This flick is about a group of survivors in NYC years after a dirt bomb went off who become posessed by the spirits of the dead after they drink from liquor bottles laced with their ectoplasm and become weird yogurty slime dripping monsters... sometimes. Does this sound more than a little bit like the brilliant Street Trash? Why yes it does, in fact the director of Street Trash, Roy Frumkes (also known for doing Document Of The Dead), has a role in the film and there is a cameo appearance by a bottle of Tenafly Viper. This movie certainly pays homage to the classic piece of trash horror cinema and it has all the makings of becoming a modern day cult classic. I badly wanted to think that highly of it. The problem is I just couldn't, to put it simply. For all of its positives, cool character design, a decent enough (if not totally original) story, it just feels like the cheapest Troma production, and not in a good way. The film tows the line between really fun B-movie and cheap straight to video garbage, without being either. So it could be worse, and I look forward to checking out more from these filmmakers to see if the potential comes to fruition because it is there. Also, I love the man, but attention low budget horror and trash cinema filmmakers: you don't have to cast Lloyd Kaufman in a bullshit role!

Technically I watched this on day 7 but SCM was feeling lonely and honestly, does it matter if this was a few hours after midnight? Not really.  SLAUGHTER TALES... I almost feel bad for not liking this movie. This is another zero budget anthology horror flick about a teen that steals a weird VHS tape called SLAUGHTER TALES and watches them. He isn't impressed with how crappy the films are but strange things begin happening to him and he is attacked in his own house. He has to destroy the VHS tape to stop the evil.This movie was made by Johnny Dickie who does almost everything from directing to acting and writing. It is pretty awful and the quality it piss poor. That said, he's fucking 14 years old and made his movie and got it distributed on DVD so applause must be given. Hopefully he sticks with it and becomes a great voice in the horror community because there was no shortage of passion and heart put into the project it just comes to down to the logistics of it all. Yeah the movie was bad but that is really a moot point in the larger picture of this kid... at least it will be if he continues to make movies and makes some good ones. Everyone has to start somewhere. Good job kid. Oh and believe it or not Lloyd Kaufman pops up at the end of the film... I think it was the universe telling me to fuck off. I'll take it universe, I deserve it.



Today's Rundown
Slime City Massacre - 5/10
Slaughter Tales - 2.5/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 5

Movies took a bit of a backseat to the Orioles home opener which is something I never miss watching each year, it is always a cool ceremony. One of these days I'll get there in person for opening day.

I was able to catch a couple flicks though, starting off with the soon to be released DVD of TREASURE CHEST OF HORROR 2 from Wild Eye Releasing. This is a Z-Grade anthology horror movie with most of the stories using the same cast in different roles. If you go into this movie expecting anything other than a movie you and your friends could make in your backyard, and anything except stupid tongue-in-cheek humor you're going to hate it and most likely turn it off. It is made on a zero dollar budget with awful acting and effects... but at times it is absolutely hilarious. This movie is dumb, but not always in a bad way. A couple of the segments had me rolling, namely Trendish and The Prom. Know what you're in for before you check this one out and if you like things like this it is worth a watch for some laughs. If this isn't your thing at all then I advise you to stay away.

And while hanging out with a couple friends we threw on EVIL BONG 3, the only part of the trilogy I hadn't seen. I don't really care too much for the series. I think they each have their entertaining moments but there are plenty of other Full Moon movies I'd rather watch than these. Not very good overall, but my friend loves it and wanted to watch it like the Full Moon superfan he is and who am I to deny him?

Today's Rundown
Treasure Chest Of Horror 2 - 5/10
Evil Bong 3 - 4/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 4

Day four of the challenge brings a couple of first time viewings, first off was EMERGENCY SQUAD, a poliziotteschi Euro-crime flick from director Stelvio Massi and starring the great Tomas Milian. After a deadly heist by a group of gunmen mocked up as a film crew detective Ravelli (Milian) notices striking similarities to the unsolved case that involved the murder of his wife 5 years earlier. Ravelli begins putting the pieces together to track down the killer and get his vengeance, even if he loses his police badge. This was a pretty great crime flick, from Massi's direction to the performances of the cast which has quite a few notable names. If you're a fan of crime movies you'll be better off having seen this one.

And I ended my night with a little piece of horror/exploitation that I've heard lots of great things for quite some time... the wilderness terror movie RITUALS. In this movie a group of 5 doctors take a trip to the remote Canadian wilderness for a vacation. When their boots get stolen the man that organized the trip is the only one who was smart enough to pack extra shoes (despite telling everyone to bring extra shoes and he'd take care of everything else) he heads out alone to try and reach civilization to get help. The remaining group is soon terrorized by an unknown enemy, with beehives being thrown at them, underwater bear traps, and various other traps and torture tactics. I've heard that this was one of the most intense movies of this type and it failed to live up to the hype. The main flaw for the film is that all five doctors are just plain unlikeable. They bitch and complain and while their situation sucks, it wouldn't be a big deal had they packed extra shoes while taking a fucking vacation in the woods. That is common sense. There were some worthwhile moments, but overall it just wasn't great. I have to say that I think some of the hype for this movie is built around the expensive out of print DVD from Code Red that typically fetches over $50. Not bad but far from classic.

Today's Rundown
Emergency Squad - 8/10
Rituals - 5/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 3

A double feature of Wild Eye Releasing titles were on tap for day number 3

THE BLOODY APE from 1997 was shot on Super 8 and involves a 400 pound circus gorilla going on a killing spree by violently ripping off limbs and faces... oh and dicks. He also likes to molest and full on rape women. And apparently this ape was so nice he could replace your father. If this movie teaches you anything it is that you should never piss off a gorilla handler or else he'll train his giant ape to kill you. The tag line on the cover says "100% Pure underground trash" and that is exactly right! From the ridiculous story and violence to the blatant tongue-in-cheek racism and tits everywhere, this is sleaze of the highest decree. Director Keith J. Crocker and crew obviously had a fucking blast making this movie and I had a lot of fun watching it... next time I think I'll enjoy it with some beers and make it even more fun.

And on the other side of the double feature was NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. This film gathers over 100 artists to recreate George Romero's classic horror film. Each artist used any method of animation they chose to create the scenes. From claymation and puppeteering to comic strips and stop motion. There are simple pen and inks and incredibly detailed paintings all working together to create this piece of work, which I have to say is pretty damn cool. Romero created a masterpiece back in 1968 and unfortunately it ended up in the public domain for all sorts of shitty companies to capitalize on it with their awful DVD presentations and shitty zombie movie "sequels" and "remakes" to use the NOTLD name, it is quite the breath of fresh air to see a project pay proper respect to the Romero classic while using the name.

...And back to the trash. SS GIRLS (aka Private House Of The SS) was next and my expectations were surpassed. It isn't difficult for that to happen within the nazisploitation genre as I find it to be one of the most disappointing genres in all of cinema history. Nazi themed exploitation should be a fucking hit 8 or 9 times out of 10 but instead it is usually a bore filled with lame characters, boring plots and poor filmmaking. SS GIRLS was one of Bruno Mattei's (Hell Of the Living Dead, Rats: Night Of Terror) first feature films and he delivers another entertaining romp in sleazeland. This movie is filled with naked women, a plot to uncover traitors within the 3rd Reich with those naked women, a lead character who is out of his fucking mind and lots of sex and death. As someone mentioned to me before this viewing, these characters are straight from a comic book, and it is pretty much true. The whole damn thing is nuts. And I like it.

MY DEAR KILLER is my first giallo of the challenge but certainly won't be the last. There is no time wasted as the film opens up with a decapitation to lead us into the story and the detectives have to put together the pieces of the case from there. This is a nasty little film. With themes that include unending greed, pedophilia and of course cold blooded murder, this earlier giallo shows no mercy. If you can't handle what director Tonino Valerii is throwing at you he doesn't care. Almost everyone within this film has a secret they're hiding, or is just of questionable character in one way or another and the murder sequences are all great. From decapitation with heavy machinery to a circular saw there is no shortage of brutality on display. The writing is solid and the story pulls together well even if the killer is revealed to not be anyone who you would probably expect it to be. While this isn't a 1st tier giallo, it is a really good one that is worth checking out.

Today's Rundown
The Bloody Ape - 7/10
NOTLD: Reanimated - 7/10
SS Girls - 7.5/10
My Dear Killer - 8/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 2

Today's first viewing was dictated by sad circumstances, the passing of filmmaker Jesus "Jess" Franco. Franco passed away just days after suffering a stroke. He is known partially for his directorial style that has become somewhat of a legend within the Euro film fan crowd. His shots often linger too long, and pan across walls to nothing, for no reason. Also known for his excess, which certainly helped out his career when he turned to porn. The man had talent, whether or not it was always on full display.

 LORNA THE EXORCIST is the film I chose to honor the man. I'd never seen it prior to this but I must say I really enjoyed it. Patrick is a rich man with a beautiful wife and daughter. He takes his daughter and wife to a town in the south of France to celebrate the girl's 18th birthday when he is contacted by an old lover named Lorna. Lorna is responsible for the man's success and his daughter, in a weird Satanic type pact. Lorna has now come to claim the girl that is rightfully hers on her 18th birthday and Patrick tries to stop her before it is too late.

Well this flick is wild. Nudity everywhere to start, with almost as much lesbianism going on as there is naked women. A scene involving Lorna and a dildo that could very well make your jaw drop. On top of that I've never been more repulsed by crabs in my life... good lord. This flick was entertaining, and while I wouldn't say it is my favorite flick from I am glad I picked this one to honor him. RIP Jess Franco, I hope you are reunited with your lovely Lina wherever you are.

Next up was TARANTULA. Few things say "Drive-in" or "B-movie" quite like a giant monster insect ravaging a small desert town straight out of the 1950s to me. There were dozens of these films warning of the dangers experimenting with radiation and various chemicals and scientific testing on animals and people and many of these films resulted in giant bugs. From ants, to scorpions and a mantis, TARANTULA has earned its place right along side any of them. My complete and utter disdain for anything with 8 legs certainly helps my enjoyment of this flick a bit too, with the ending being extremely satisfying. A very cool Sci-Fi horror flick from director Jack Arnold who also helmed Creature From The Black Lagoon.

Next up was a double feature of 80s vigilante action movies, the first of which was EXTERMINATOR 2.

This sequel to the the classic piece of violent vengeance set in the gritty NYC streets is as good as I'd hoped it would be. Robert Ginty returns in the title role as the flame thrower wielding vigilante who is hell bent on cleaning up the streets, this time after a gang brutally attacked his girlfriend and injured her so badly that her dancing career came to an end. He teams up with his garbage truck driving friend and they set out to find the gang's hideout and take care of business. EXTERMINATOR 2 gets a little cheesier than its predecessor, but it was 1984, what do we expect? The grimy streets of New York City are still very present and it is by no means a nice movie. It is however, a lot of fun to watch and one I'll come back to revisit again and again.

Closing out the night was EYE OF THE TIGER starring Gary Busey and Yaphet Kotto. How this thing isn't a cult classic is beyond me. This is total 80s goodness. Ridiculous fight scenes, some great one liners, Busey's horse teeth, motorcycle gangs, corrupt cops and piles and piles of cocaine. If you're a fan of action movies you need to see this thing. I didn't expect to like this movie anywhere near as much as I do. Oh and yes, the song is played throughout the movie and once rivals the impact it has in Rocky.

Today's Rundown
Lorna The Exorcist - 7/10
Tarantula - 7/10
Exterminator 2 - 7/10
Eye Of The Tiger - 8/10