The Lost Sex Films of Ed Wood

Ed Wood completeist are a special breed and that is who these films are for. Wood was never a brilliant artist but he could make a movie. The porn films he made here aren't really going to be spank material for anyone as they are beaten and battered prints and are far from sexy films. Or if you don't care too much about the Ed Wood connection there's a plethora of extra stag films on each disc as each disc features the lost films of other porn directors and stars (listed below). Alpha Blue deserves some praise for bringing lost films from the infamous director to the public for the first time since they were released on Betamax, something most companies would have no interest in doing.

NYMPHO CYCLER is the story of a woman fed up with being pimped out by her cross dressing husband (Ed Wood himself) who takes off across the country on her motorcycle. The woman is picked up by a pair of lesbians when she's stranded on the side of the road with an empty gas tank and they take her back to their house for some womanly love before bringing her back to her bike. While that was fun, she just wasn't satisfied so she seduces a fellow bike rider who gives her the man loving she was so desperate for. The pair then get attacked by a motorcycle gang that was sent to get the girl by her husband. The girl is raped while the man is beaten and put in the hospital. After the gang have their way with her she meets back up with her man, not seeming all that concerned about what had just happened and puts him on a train home.

There's nothing too explicit in NC, at least as far as seeing actual penetration goes. It may be rated X but it's not a hard X by any means. The most exciting thing about this film is probably the joys of getting to see Ed Wood in drag. All of the women featured are quite attractive and you can't deny the cool factor of this chick and her motorcycle. At only 52 minutes it never overstays its welcome and is an enjoyable little piece of sexploitation.

NECROMANIA tells the story of a married couple with quite a loveless marriage visiting  a Satanic sex therapist who has big plans for the couple and their fates! NECROMANIA is interesting in that there are two versions of the film, the softcore version and a hard X version with totally different sex scenes. The hardcore scenes may juice it up enough that it becomes a bit more entertaining as the black magic and Satanic angle isn't played up enough to make it interesting, but really, I doubt the hardcore scenes do much to help it.

A wife fights for the affection and sexual desire of her husband with the girls at the local strip club in THE YOUNG MARRIEDS. When he tells her that they turn him on in ways she can't she opens up her sexuality, letting him take sexy pictures and even making him her sex slave. Their blooming sexuality takes a few turns in to wild and sometimes uncomfortable territory for the couple but opens their minds, and legs, to new things. There's plenty of X-rated hardcore action here and very little story to drive it all.

The final film in the collection is THE UNDERGRADUATE and I bet you can figure out what is going on here. Some young coeds explore their sexuality in various ways and it drags on too long with a good bit of monotony. There's not enough interesting side pieces to the sex to make this one really worth while.

Bonus Features
Nympho Cycler - The Lost Films of Casey Larrain Four Film Collection
Necromania - The Lost Films Of Maria Arnold Four Film Collection
The Young Marrieds - The Lost Films Of Alice Friedland Five Film Collection
The Undergraduate - The Lost Films Of Suzanne Fields Four Film Collection

With a total of 21 films across the four discs this collection really will be a prized addition to the smut enthusiast and they're available HERE

Jesse (DVD Review) - Arc Entertainment

USA/2011
Directed By: Fred Carpenter
Written By: Fred Carpenter, Paul Regina, Joanne Tamburro
Starring: Stephanie Finochio, William Forsythe, Armand Assante
Color/86 Minutes/R
Region 1
Release Date: August 12, 2014

The Film
Jesse is a cop who likes to drink away her problems which are based around her failed marriange and her husband who has custody of her kids because she's a pretty terrible person. Jesse's brother is killed by the mafia after he owed them thousands of dollars so Jesse does what she has to do to take down the people responsible.

This movie is a joke right? Where is Ashton Kutcher to pop out of my closet and yell at me tellling me I was punked? JESSE is fucking awful on every level. Every single character in this shit fest is a stereotypical New York loud mouth Italian caricature that you'd find on some shitty reality show. It's fucking ridiculous. Jesse is the least likable protagonist I've seen in a film in quite a while. Her attitude sucks, her personality is loud, self righteous and arrogant. On top of that she's just a major bitch. The acting in this thing seems like a contest of who can put on the strongest accent and overact the shit out of it. It was to the point where every line of dialogue processed through mind as "AY YO BUDDY! I'M FROM LONG ISLAND! YOU GOTSA A PROBLEM OVA HERE!?"

It's all good though because we care about the vengeance on the mafia right? No, no we don't In fact there isn't a single fucking thing to care about in this movie that is pretty much based on the notion that all cops and firefighters hate each other. Oh and Jesse's mother? Yeah, she holds up a gun to a little dog's head at one point to stop an argument. JESSE is filmed on shitty cameras, it is framed poorly half the time and edited like a Skinemax flick. Hell, even the opening credits look like a shitty made-for-TV movie fro the 90s. That's not fair to made-for-TV movies as I think every single one of them would be better than this bullshit.

The Audio & Video
The DVD from Arc Entertainment looks good enough given how it was produced. The 16x9 anamorphic widescreen transfer is attractive and is clean. A decently sharp picture overall with nice colors. The audio is hit or miss as there are times the audio is so poorly recorded that it barely registers in the mix. That is a problem with the production of the film and not the authoring job done on the disc. Otherwise the Dolby Digital track sounds okay.

The Extras
Bare Bones aside from a VUDU digital copy.

The Bottom Line
I'd rather be stuck in some weird reality where I repeatedly poke myself in the eye repeatedly than watch the steaming pile of dog shit that is JESSE, ever again.

JESSE is available HERE

Bunnmany Massacre (DVD Review) - Midnight Releasing

USA/2014
Directed By: Carl Lindbergh
Written By: Carl Lindbergh
Starring: David Scott, Joshua Lang, Julianne Dowler
Color/104 Minutes/Not Rated
Region FREE
Release Date: August 12, 2014

The Film
Joe and Bunnyman have a nice symbiotic relationship going on. Bunnyman gets to go on his killing sprees while Joe is provided with plenty of meat for his "beef" jerky business. Bunnyman has been going overboard lately and Joe is having a hard time keeping up with the bodies piling up, especially after Bunnyman's massacre of a packed school bus. In a way, Joe can be his own worst enemy as he joins in on the carnage as well, taking down the sheriff's deputies which has made the sheriff very suspicious of the jerky man.

BUNNYMAN MASSACRE sort of reminds me of a C-grade modern take on The Texas Chainsaw Masscare if Leatherface had a bunny costume fetish instead of wearing other people's faces. That's probably the nicest thing I can say about BUNNYMAN MASSACRE, not that it is totally bad. It is entertainingly violent and has plenty of the red stuff flowing but it runs on a bit too long and relies too much on the violence to drive the picture. There's no tension and the bunny suit gimmick wears thin by the end. That said I have to say that BUNNYMAN MASSACRE is every bit as good as some of the more hailed slashers of recent years like Laid To Rest or The Hills Run Red. That isn't saying much but hey, it's something. 

The Audio & Video
Midnight Releasing's DVD of BUNNYMAN MASSACRE is solid for how the movie was shot. The widescreen transfer is clean and has okay sharpness and clarity. The movie wasn't shot on high dollar cameras which is obvious but the disc looks okay. The 2.0 audio track sounds clear and has a pretty decent mix. It's good enough that you won't need to reach for the remote as levels are stable.

The Extras
-Audio commentary track
-Behind-the-scenes featurette
-Deleted scenes
-Interviews
-"Bunnyman Gets Fast Food"
-"Joe's Guide To Dating"

The Bottom Line
BUNNYMAN MASSACRE can be recommended to horror fans that are easily satisfied with plenty of gore or slasher film enthusiasts who want to see everything the genre has to offer. It's not offensively bad but it could be better.

BUNNYMAN MASSACRE is available HERE

Tropic Of Desire / Fantasy World (DVD Review) - Vinegar Syndrome

USA/1979
Directed By: Bob Chinn
Written By: Jeffrey Fairbanks
Starring: Laurien Dominique, Jesie St. James, Georgina Spelvin
Color/160 Minutes/X
Region FREE
Release Date: August 5, 2014

The Film
In the waning days of WWII some Navy men on shore leave visit their usual brothel for some fun. Upon arriving one of the men finds that his favorite lady has just left to mourn the death of her husband in the war. While his night is ruined the rest of the men, including a young man experiencing the pleasures of a woman for the first time, get their rocks off in various ways. TROPIC OF DESIRE is a pretty decent wartime adult drama. The acting is pretty decent and there's plenty of skin and action to satisfy the viewer. It has nice sets and is a step above the average skin flick of the time.

If TROPIC OF DESIRE is good FANTASY WORLD IS GREAT. Two separate groups of friends, another trio of Navy men and a trio of ladies that work as telephone operators, looking for fun in the city find their way in to the doors of a night club called Fantasy World where all of your fantasies can come true. A sort of magician with a pale white painted face hosts the evening which starts out with a woman masturbating with a snake and goes on to include all sorts of group sex on stage while taking volunteers from the audience. The volunteers are then treated to their wildest sexual dreams from dominatrix action, to two women or three men. Whatever you fantasize about can be yours if you step through the doors of FANTASY WORLD.

Seriously, FANTASY WORLD is among the best adult films I've ever seen. It has just enough touch of the bizarre along with great direction and an artful touch in lighting and sets to compliment the more carnal delights that await the viewer. I don't keep track of "favorite vintage pornos" like I do horror or spaghetti westerns or something like that but if I did I'm sure FANTASY WORLD would be near the top of list.

The Audio & Video
Vinegar Syndrome's release keeps both films in their OAR of 1.85:1 with anamorphic widescreen transfers. Picture quality is quite good throughout with a bit of speckling and a frame jump occasionally. Detail and color is strong and vivid while flesh tones look healthy. Both films have been kept in pretty nice condition overall and VS has handled them beautifully. The English mono audio tracks have a bit of background noise in the form of crackling but it is intermittent at worst and doesn't distract from the film. Dialogue and soundtrack levels are mixed with skill.

The Extras
A trailer for each film is included

The Bottom Line
I don't think I have to spell it out for you - A couple of quite good X rated flicks, one being among the best I've seen, with a nice presentation from a company that truly cares about its products and fans means this release is highly recommended.

TROPIC OF DESIRE / FANTASY WORLD is available HERE

Rage (Blu-ray Review) - Image/RLJ

USA/2014
Directed By: Paco Cabezas
Written By: James Agnew, Sean Keller
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Rachel Nichols, Max Ryan
Color/98 Minutes/Not Rated
Region A
Release Date: August 12, 2014

The Film
Paul Maguire is a man with a violent past having spent his younger years in organized crime. When his wife was diagnosed with cancer he cleaned up his ways to make sure someone would always be there for their daughter. Now Maguire is on the hunt for the people responsible for kidnapping and murdering his teen daughter. It doesn't take Maguire long to fall back into his old ways and to contact his old crime family who help him track down all of their old enemies in order to find out who is behind the killing and why.

Nicolas Cage stars in this film written by the pair who wrote Dario Argento's weakest effort Giallo. Their names will forever be etched into my mind. Anyways, on topic, director Paco Cabezas delivers a pretty decent action thriller in the vein of Taken. Cabezas' direction adds a level of excitement to many of the action scenes, though he falls into the "shaky cam" trap a bit too often. Nic Cage's acting is surprisingly good throughout. He doesn't ham it up too much except for one rooftop scene where he delivers one of his signature freakouts. I tried not to laugh, but a Nic Cage freakout is usually hilarious. And there's even a role for Danny Glover, who is okay too.

RAGE isn't going to change the genre or blow you away but it manages to be a pretty decent and entertaining violent thriller in the mold of countless movies that have come before it.

The Audio & Video
Image/RLJ deliver an attractive Blu-ray for RAGE. The anamorphic widescreen 2.35:1 transfer features great levels of detail and clarity. Skin tones are natural and fleshy while colors pop. The DTS-HD 5.1 audio track is robust and full bodied. The mix is excellent and there's no audible hiccups. 

Note: Screen shots taken from DVD copy.

The Extras
-The Making of RAGE
-Deleted scenes
-Alternate ending
-DVD copy of film

The Bottom Line
If you're looking for a new thriller filled with action or something new from familiar names you can do worse than RAGE. It isn't a perfect film but it was a pleasant surprise.

RAGE is available HERE

The Ultimate Pleasure / I Am Always Ready (DVD Review) - Vinegar Syndrome

USA/1977, 1978
Directed By: Carlos Tobalina
Written By: Edgar G. Warren
Starring: Kristine Heller, Blair Harris, John Holmes, Ronie Ross
Color/143 Minutes/X
Region FREE
Release Date: August 5, 2014

The Films
THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE tells the story of a married couple struggling to find the spark in their relationship. They pay a visit to a sex therapist who gets to the bottom of their problems with sex to unlock the passion hidden within. This leads to plenty of kinky situations like sex while hypnotized, orgies, and more! This sex filled romp has a few questionable situations that may seem a bit unorthodox as far as medical practice is concerned, I mean having sex with your hypnotized patient is probably against some sort of code or law but if it gets the job done who cares! It makes THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE all the more fun.

What would you do to live out your wildest fantasies? I AM ALWAYS READY answers that question and shows it too! A woman gets to live out her fantasy of appearing in a porno with none other than the legend himself, John Holmes! I AM ALWAYS READY is a fun way to live the dream of being an amateur picked to co-star with your favorite porn legend. It doesn't hurt to dream! I AM ALWAYS READY is packed with sex and a bit of the trials and tribulations of making a sex film... it's not always tits and ass... I mean fun and games!

The Audio & Video
Vinegar Syndrome delivers a pair of great looking transfers for these two films. Each film is presented in a 16x9 anamorphic widescreen transfer maintaining the films' original aspect ratio. The source material were 35mm camera negatives and they've been kept in great condition. The transfers are damn near pristine. Colors are strong and vivid which pretty much sums up the overall visual presentation. These films look excellent. The English mono audio tracks sound very good as well. There's no background noise and no instances of crackling, popping or any sort of hiccups like that. Levels are mixed very well.

The Extras
A trailer is included for each film

The Bottom Line
This double feature is another entry in to VinSyn's Peekarama Collection and it is another pair of expertly presented erotic tales that are sure to please fans. 

THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE / I AM ALWAYS READY is available HERE

Purely Physical / Cathouse Fever (DVD Review) - Vinegar Syndrome

USA/1982, 1984
Directed By: Chris Warfield
Written By: Chris Warfield, John Hayes
Starring: Laura Lazare, Sidney Fellows, Becky Savage
Color/158 Minutes/X
Region FREE
Release Date: August 5, 2014

The Films
In PURELY PHYSICAL A beautiful young college student takes an overnight job at the desk of a seedy motel. She quickly finds out that most of the motel's business is from all sorts of couples, prostitutes, perverts and sexual deviants. The girl's sheltered upbringing begins to fall away as she is repeatedly propositioned by men and women alike. Eventually she acts upon her fantasies and gives one of the regulars the wake up call he's been dreaming of!

CATHOUSE FEVER is the tale of a young woman looking for love and some college coeds looking to pay tuition by working in a whore house. Their sexual encounters from a man who's mouth is taped shut by his wife so he can't talk to other women (she never said anything about fucking them!) to getting tired from not being able to get someone off despite the cash being thrown at them.

This Peekarama double feature from Vinegar Syndrome is a pair of very entertaining skin flicks from director Chris Warfield. CATHOUSE FEVER is very entertaining and has a few artful touches with a bit of humor thrown in for good measure while PURELY PHYSICAL is more the star of the show as far as I'm concerned as the motel provides the perfect setting to get to be the proverbial fly on the wall to spy on the guests sexual encounters. The thing that keeps you drawn in is the desk girl's budding sexual curiosity and waiting to see her act on them. Your patience pays off during the climax (pun fully intended) of the film.

The Audio & Video
Vinegar Syndrome has done another nice job with the transfer of these films. Each film is in its OAR with sharp, and clean 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen presentations. There is a bit of speckling present and a single noticed frame jump in PURELY PHYSICAL. Colors are strong and overall clarity is great. I'm very pleased with how these films look. The Mono audio tracks sound quite good with just the slightest bit of sporadic background noise evident. It is far from distracting and doesn't interfere with a very well done mix.

The Extras
A trailer for each film is included

The Bottom Line
The interesting scenarios and attractive leading ladies make for above average porno flicks that have pretty solid production value as well. Recommended for fans of the Peekarama double feature series or for anyone looking for above average 80s smut.

PURELY PHYSICAL / CATHOUSE FEVER is available HERE