CHILDREN OF THE CORN Franchise Retrospective Part 1

This has been a long time coming, an idea that I've wanted to do on Celluloid Terror for the last couple of years and I've finally gotten around to doing it. I've long neglected the CHILDREN OF THE CORN franchise having only seen the original and the Syfy channel remake. I grew up with the original and loved it for a long time but a couple of years ago a downward trend began with it where each subsequent viewing left me feeling a little less favorable towards it than the last. I could have reviewed the first film in the series without giving it another watch but I decided to pop it in, dreading that I'd like it even less than the last time because at this point I don't think I would have even called myself a fan of the movie.

1984 brought us the first film adaptation of Stephen King's novel Children Of The Corn. The film of the same name was directed by Fritz Kiersch who is best known for directing this film. The film centers around the town of Gaitlin, Nebraska where child preacher Isaac has gathered the children of the town to commit mass murder of the adults- anyone over 19 years of age. Burt (Peter Horton) and Vicky (Linda Hamilton) end up in the town and happen a couple of kids who are innocent from the evil and try to protect them while they're being hunted by Isaac and his numerous blade wielding kids.

As of now the film is over 30 years old and has quite a bit of visual effects that are dated. In fact the effects have been dated for a long time. I think the film has an inherent creepiness with all of the religiously brainwashed children who don't think or care about the consequences of their actions. The film features a strong supernatural element that adds to the terror our protagonists are facing until they realize they must destroy the corn field that these children apparently worship. The film is flawed and the fact that it only gets more dated as time goes by didn't help but I have finally put that behind me and accepted the film for what it is and I think I'm finally at a good place with it. The plot is interesting, our leads are more than capable of carrying the film as the rest of the cast is quite young throughout the majority and has a pair of characters that have become mini icons in the horror genre with Isaac and Malechi (along with his yell of "Outlander!"). I have a feeling that the rest of the series won't reach the quality of film making that this first film has.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN 2: THE FINAL SACRIFICE picks up in the aftermath of the Gaitlin murders where the now orphaned children are sent to various homes around the area. John Garrett travels to Gaitlin with his son Danny to cover the story for the tabloid magazine he writes for and they end up staying at a bed and breakfast that has taken in a boy named Micah who is a distant loner and becomes the new preacher for these freaky kids after he's sucked into an alternate dimension and comes back evil and ready to lead the children to murder again.

The thing that immediately jumps out at me is why aren't these kids in police custody or the state's custody in some sort of medical facility? They ran amok, started a cult and murdered their parents and they just get sent to live in foster homes? Who thought that was okay? That's just one of the absurdities of this film. Have we ever had a sequel use "final" in the title so early as COTC did? I mean part 2 and we're already calling it "final"? We're smarter than that!

The brilliance here is in how fucking cheesy this movie is. From the kill sequences that include flying stalks of corn, to houses being dropped on an old lady ala The Wicked Witch Of The West and razor sharp corn stalk leaves just to name a few to the ridiculous Native American and moldy corn conspiracy subplots that go nowhere and the budding romance of a couple high school kids who almost get it on in a pile of dismembered bodies. And I haven't even touched on the alternate evil corn dimension.. Yeah, that's a thing and it's stupid and bizarre.

Can I repeat myself by asking why in the blue hell these kids aren't locked away somewhere!?

Micah is a piss poor replacement for Isaac and they don't even try to replace Malechi. The editing is atrocious and leaves several scenes making absolutely no sense. Almost all technical aspects of this movie are poorly done but it's so cheesy that I can't help but be entertained by it.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN 2 was everything I was afraid of and everything I hoped for all at once.

Film Scores
Children Of The Corn - 6/10
Children Of The Corn 2: The Final Sacrifice - 6/10

Jean Claude Van Damme 5 Movie Collection (Blu-ray Review) - Mill Creek

USA/1996-2006
Directed By: Various
Written By: Various
Starring: Jean Claude Van Damme
Color/481 Minutes/R
Region A
Release Date: March 15, 2016

The Films
MAXIMUM RISK
The film to start this package off is a perfect example of a mid 90s action flick starring an action star who had already made his best films years before. Unfortunately for the rest of this collection JCVD is our star in every film so I'm afraid that fact will remain sadly true. That said, the film has no shortage of action though it feels like it was made with weekend cable screenings in mind. The high point being the scene in the subway station where we get to see a dummy hit by a speeding subway car. The story of mistaken identities, and finding out family history feels rehashed but a couple nude scenes with co-star Natasha Henstridge keeps things interesting when the action is at a lull. An average but harmless flick.

DOUBLE TEAM
There are some things that don't make sense to me about this movie. Things like why the opening credits look like they were made with a label maker? How the hell did Dennis Rodman make it into a major motion picture? What is Mickey Rourke up to these days? You know, life's hard hitting questions. The action comedy mash up is filled with explosions, shoot outs and fantastic fight choreography but the action is the only thing keeping my attached. The story is weak, the acting is weak (how many lines can Rodman mumble his way through?) and the promise of Van Damme fighting a tiger ends up being a letdown. Oh and let us not forget how much Coke product placement there is and that our heroes are literally saved from a massive explosion by a fucking vending machine.

UNIVERSAL SOLDER: THE RETURN
The 2nd theatrical film of the series followed a pair of made for TV films and bombed at the box office and is no longer considered canon to the series. How could a JCVD vehicle from 1999 that was the fourth film in a series that had already went to TV productions for sequels twice and co-stars Bill Goldberg bomb at the box office and essentially be written out of the franchise's history you ask? It looks and feels like a video game that was already outdated by the time it was completed. I'm not at all familiar with the UNIVERSAL SOLDIER series so I don't know how this fits in but since it has been disowned I suppose it doesn't really matter. There's plenty of action but most of it feels like an amusement park thrill ride. It's always nice to see Michael Jai White and the soundtrack has some solid metal bands on it so I guess there's that.

THE HARD CORPS
A lumpy headed (seriously, what is that giant lump on Van Damme's forehead?) Van Damme plays a depressed former Army Special Forces soldier suffering from PTSD who gets a gig protecting a former boxing champion from a violent thug he sent to prison. Too much is asked of Van Damme here. He's not a great actor and it shows throughout this one but to be fair just about everyone else in this movie gives weak performances too. There's nothing funny at all about PTSD but the scene of Van Damme at the rap concert is unintentionally hilarious and that shows how much of a failure this movie is.

SECOND IN COMMAND
The final film of the set redeems things a bit after the low point that was THE HARD CORPS. SECOND IN COMMAND is an entertaining war film starring Van Damme who leads a small group of US Marines who are fighting in Eastern Europe to protect the president of Moldavia from being kidnapped. The setting is interesting giving us a tight urban environment filled with shoot outs and tense moments. It's competently written and directed and the acting is okay. This is probably the most violent film in the collection.

The Audio & Video
The first disc features the first three films reviewed above and they all looking pretty good. The picture quality is sharp with nice colors and good detail level throughout. Black levels are generally handled well with very few issues of blocking or compression. Audio is crisp with no damage or background noise. The second disc features the final two films on the set so you'd imagine image quality would fare a bit better or at least be as good. That isn't the case as THE HARD CORPS and SECOND IN COMMAND use obviously dated masters and don't look much better than an upconvert to HD. Detail lacks and colors don't shine like they would in a proper HD transfer. SIC is rather hazy and soft as well. Oddly enough the worst looking movies in the set are the most recent productions. The audio on this disc is fine, comparable to the first disc.

The Extras
None.

The Bottom Line
The films are a mixed bag with some good, some bad but mostly everything is in the middle and just okay. If you're a big JCVD fan the set is a no brainer and at the bargain price point that Mill Creek is offering this collection of films at if you're even remotely interested in it you'd be a fool not to give it a chance.

JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME 5 MOVIE COLLECTION is available HERE

THE BEFORE TIME (DVD Review) - Brain Damage Films

USA/2014

Directed By: Miguel Muller

Written By: Scott Bunt

Starring: Ted Jonas, Jules Hartley, Aidan Marus

Color/80 Minutes/Not Rated

Region FREE

Release Date: March 8, 2016

The Film

The headless bodies of eight Hispanic men have been found in the Arizona desert spiking TV ratings. An independent producer proposes a reality TV show idea to capitalize on the story and the ratings based around two rival groups investigating the story and the legend of an ancient treasure of gold buried in the area but they quickly find out the truth lurking in the desert is far more dangerous than they could have imagined. 

THE BEFORE TIME uses the found footage, handheld camera style to show the story of this reality show cast as they venture in to the desert and try to set up shots and scenes for their production. The group is filled with semi-famous local talent and a lot of shitty young attitudes with big dreams about making it big. Sometimes they're serious about getting their work done and others they're disrespecting locals and acting like stereotypical assholes. They fall victim to creepy natives, drug laced foods and ghostly occurrences as each day brings them deeper and deeper into the unforgiving desert.

It all feels familiar, like ground we've tread before. It's predictable and despite being decently made and having an exciting scene or two, it's not very interesting. The cast is decent but their writing is lazy. The movie leaves too much to the imagination and doesn't give us the visual goods often enough. It's an attempt at making the film more psychologically driven than it needs or even should be. 

THE BEFORE TIME isn't a bad film overall but it doesn't capitalize on its best aspects and suffers from many of the downfalls of the found footage style.

The Audio & Video

Brain Damage Films gives THE BEFORE TIME a nice home on DVD with a 16x9 anamorphic widescreen transfer that has a sharp look and good colors for a standard def transfer. Black levels are deep and there's no problems with compression or blocking. The mostly English audio which features sporadic Spanish with English subtitles is handled with a 5.1 surround mix which sounds very nice. There's no damage or background noise and the overall quality is crisp and powerful when needed.

The Extras

-Behind the scenes featurette

-Trailer

The Bottom Line

If you're a lover of the found footage genre you'll find plenty to enjoy with THE BEFORE TIME. 

THE BEFORE TIME is available HERE

SUSPENSION (2015)

Canada/2015
Director: Jeffery Scott Lando
Writer: Kevin Mosley
Starring: Ellen MacNevin, Sage Brocklebank, Kylee Bush

SUSPENSION tells the story of Emily, an unpopular high school girl still coming to terms with the fact that her father went on a murder spree years before. To help her cope, she draws a graphically violent comic fictionalizing the murders. But as she loses herself in her own story, the line between what's real and what's not begins to blur.

SUSPENSION is the first film I've watched as part of 2015's "8 Films To Die For", and I have to admit that going in I didn't really hold out much hope for any of them. That being said, SUSPENSION was actually pretty decent. I got real excited by the opening title sequence which was just an overhead shot slowly following a truck as it pulled up to a barn. Yet there was a filter on the shot that made it appear to be a comic book style line drawing. While this isn't anything we haven't seen before, I thought it was an interesting stylistic choice that not only looked pretty cool but tied in with the theme of the comic our main character is drawing throughout the movie. In fact, SUSPENSION is filled with a lot of interesting stylistic choices that I really appreciated. Unfortunately, the plot of the film is just pretty by the numbers. The movie is filled with plot twists that anyone who's ever seen a horror movie can see coming from a mile away. And ultimately, Suspension becomes another horror movie that looks good, but doesn't really have a lot of substance.

Review by Shawn Wolfe

EROTIC ADVENTURE OF CANDY / CANDY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD (Blu-ray Review) - Vinegar Syndrome

Vinegar Syndrome gives us two re-releases this month, with this double feature of the CANDY film by Gail Palmer being the first and is an upgrade to Blu-ray over the previous Peekarama Collection DVD released back in July of 2014. This is a welcomed upgrade of an already attractive that really could (and did) stand on its own two feet.

The Blu-ray carries over all of the same content as the DVD which we reviewed upon its release. You can see that review HERE. Instead of writing all the same things over again I will save you some time by saying the picture is sharper, with more overall depth but especially in details such as clothing and surface textures. The skin tones look gorgeous with a natural fleshiness that only a well done Blu-ray transfer can convey. The upgrade from an already well done DVD is immediately and constantly noticeable.

The Blu-ray of THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF CANDY and CANDY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD  is worth the upgrade if you already have the DVD and certainly worth a first time purchase if you haven't picked up the previous DVD and is available HERE

MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK (Blu-ray Review) - Mill Creek

USA/1993
Directed By: Bob Balaban
Written By: Dean Lorey
Starring: Andrew Lowery, Traci Lind, Danny Zorn
Color/85 Minutes/PG-13
Region A
Release Date: March 15, 2016

The Film
Johnny Dingle has had eyes only for Missy McCloud since they were small children and now Missy is the hottest girl in school With prom approaching Johnny concocts a scheme to get Missy to be his prom date but things go awry and Johnny winds up dead. The grave can't contain Johnny after Missy has already said yes though so he's back from the dead and ready to party... if he can keep himself together.

MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK is a charmingly funny high school comedy romance with an interesting idea behind it. The cast, including Andrew Lowery as Johnny and Traci Lind as Missy are great and have good chemistry. It's a cute mix between the Brat Pack pictures of the 80's and the more family friendly horror trend of the later 80s. Unfortunately the movie relies on two or three recurring gags that lose a bit of their punch with each recurring use. Body parts falling off an inopportune times is funny but it turns the film into a one trick pony by the end.

When it's all said and done MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK is a mixed bag as many of the jokes are repeated too often and the story of Missy's dad, along with most of the town, wanting to kill Johnny because he's a zombie become stale too quickly. The relationship between Missy and Johnny help carry the film passed these issues and keep things light and fun enough to be an enjoyable viewing experience.

The Audio & Video
Mill Creek gives MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK its debut on Blu-ray with an attractive 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer that is largely very well done. The image is sharp and has a warm color palette. Detail level is often quite strong in surfaces and textures but there is some light digital noise reduction noticeable, heavier at certain points than other, that give the image a slight waxy quality. There's also a couple incidents of edge enhancement that could have been passed up with no damage done. Skin tones look healthy and natural when they aren't dealing with the DNR issue and black levels are deep and don't suffer from any sort of crush or compression. There's a bit of speckling scattered throughout but the picture quality is quite clean and free of any debris for the most part. The Dolby Digital surround mix is nicely done, with a crisp quality that is free of any damage or background noise. The original score by Harry Manfredini and the soundtrack of 80s and 90s pop rock tracks blend nicely with the dialogue. Overall the technical quality of the disc is imperfect but a damn fine job that fans of the film will welcome with open arms that hopefully don't fall off.

The Extras
Bare bones.

The Bottom Line
There are some flaws that keep MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK from being held in the same regard as the classic teen comedies of its era but it's still an entertaining, lighthearted comedy that brings the laughs often enough.

MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK is available HERE

EROTIC ADVENTURES OF CANDY / CANDY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD (Blu-ray Review) - Vinegar Syndrome

Vinegar Syndrome gives us two re-releases this month, this double feature of the CANDY films by Gail Palmer being an upgrade to Blu-ray over the previous Peekarama Collection DVD released back in July of 2014. This is a welcomed upgrade over an already attractive version that really could (and did) stand on its own two feet. 

This Blu-ray carries over all of the same content as the DVD which was reviewed upon its release. You can see that review HERE. Instead of writing all the same things over again I will save you time by saying the picture is sharper, with more overall depth but especially in details such as clothing and surface textures. The skin tones look gorgeous with a natural fleshiness that only a well done Blu-ray transfer can really convey. The upgrade from an already well done DVD is immediately and constantly noticeable.

The Blu-ray of EROTIC ADVENTURES OF CANDY and CANDY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD is worth an upgrade if you already have the DVD and certainly worth a first time purchase if you haven't picked up the previous DVD.

Note: There's a single frame digital glitch at the end of the first film, just before the credits which is the result of a manufacturing error. This could easily be overlooked but Vinegar Syndrome has already begun repressing corrected discs and is setting up a replacement program for those that have already purchased the disc. You can get in contact with them on their Facebook page for more information.