Saturday, December 22, 2018

Comet TV and Charge! December Viewing Guide and Giveaway!

Snow is falling, the scent of pine needles is in the air, so it must be… Time to watch some awesome movies and TV shows on COMET TV and CHARGE!
Yep, this December the sci-fi and horror classic The Terminator is blasting its way through Comet TV! Check out the classic and the birth of Cyberdyne Systems!
If that wasn’t enough to celebrate the holiday season Babylon 5 has a Christmas marathon! After you sip your egg nog and trim the tree, turn on COMET TV for a spacey Christmas Marathon! Starting at 10a/9 C!
And don’t forget to check out Area 10! The best in cult classic films are airing all month long on Comet TV! 
We have an awesome giveaway opportunity with exclusive swag for one awesome COMET TV viewer!
The Comet TV and CHARGE! December Prize Pack has:


1 – Limited Edition Terminator Muscle Shirt – Show off those guns! Figuratively and literally in this awesome Terminator Tee! Do some flexing and share your pics on the gram! #CometTV
1 – Exclusive Blair Witch Holiday Ornament – Deck the halls and ring in the new year with the Blair Witch! This hand-crafted ornament will bring holiday scares to you and those you love!
1 – Terminator Dog Tag – John Connor is the leader of the resistance and this promo dog tag set will get you ready to battle the cyborgs of the future!
1 – Babylon 5 and Space:1999 Custom Snack Box – This is the perfect treat to celebrate any trip to space. It might require some popping, but this custom box will satisfy any spacey craving!
To Enter email Celluloidterror@yahoo.com andTell Me Your Favorite Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Winter Holiday Decoration and include your full address (US only!)
Winner will be selected on December 31
Giveaway open to the US


About Comet - Dec 2018

Airing on COMET in December
YOU DON’T NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO WATCH THESE GREAT MOVIES… 
THEY’RE AIRING FOR FREE ON COMET!


Babylon 5 (Christmas Marathon) 
This Christmas, after you sip your egg nog and trim the tree, turn on COMET TV for a spacey Christmas Marathon! Starting at 10a/9 C you can catch up on this classic sci-fi series!
Christmas Day Tuesday, December 25 starting at 10a/9 C
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The Blair Witch Project (1999) 
There’s something sinister lurking in Black Hills Forest and missing girl’s disappearance is linked to the legend of The Blair Witch! A group heads into the woods to find out what happened and the footage found after will send a chill down your spine. Don’t turn your back because you don’t know what’s lurking behind you….
Saturday, December 15 at 5/4 C 
Monday, December 17 1/Noon C 
Thursday, December 20 at MIDNIGHT/11 C 
Monday, December 24 at 2a/1 C 
Saturday, December 29 at 12:30a/11:30 C
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The Terminator (1984)
The original classic that started the franchise is airing on Comet TV! Catch Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton in their classic roles trying to defeat Skynet from launching total human extinction. Relive the first time you heard, “Come with me if you want to live.” 
Friday, December 14 at 3/2 C 
Wednesday, December 19 at 10/9 C 
Wednesday, December 26 at 1/Noon C
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Area 10 
The best in cult classic films are airing all month long on Comet TV! If you’re in the mood for laughs check out Haunted Honeymoon, if you fancy a trip book your ticket to Futureworld, join Ah-Nuld for The Terminator and who doesn’t have those Jeepers Creepers!
Weeknights at 10/9 C
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai 
The Shout 
The Cat Creature 
The Blair Witch Project 
Disturbing Behavior 
Runaway 
The Terminator 
Futureworld 
To All a Good Night 
Haunted Honeymoon 
Old Dracula 
Jeepers Creepers 
The Curse 
The Curse II 
Panga
AND MORE...

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The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai (1984) 
It’s a battle to the death! Buckaroo Banzai gets caught in the middle of two alien forces from Planet 10. But Buckaroo Banzai has the Overthruster which will bring the bad aliens back to their home planet, which the good aliens can’t allow to happen. Earth’s survival hangs in the balance!
Wednesday, December 12 at 3/2 C 
Thursday, December 20 at 5/4 C 
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Airing on CHARGE! in December 
WATCH ACTION STARS, EVERY-DAY HEROES AND INSANE ATHLETES ENGAGED IN BATTLES, CHASES, SHOWDOWN AND SO MUCH MORE. CHARGE! READY FOR ACTION
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Hurtin’ For A Burtin’ 
From Dusk Till Dawn TRILOGY
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) 
From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999) 
From Dusk Till Dawn 3: Hangman’s Daughter (2000)
Friday, December 14 starting at 10/9 C 
Saturday, December 22 starting at 2/1 C
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Chantastic Movie Marathon
The Forbidden Kingdom (2008) 
Supercop (1996) 
Accidental Spy (Te Wu Mi Cheng) (2001)
Saturday, December 15 starting at 2/1 C 
Wednesday, December 19 starting at 10/9 C 
Xmas Day Tuesday, December 25 starting at 8/7 C

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

SLAY BELLES Blu-ray Review (Epic Pictures)


USA/2018
Directed By: Spooky Dan Walker
Written By: Jessica Luhrssen, Spooky Dan Walker
Starring: Barry Bostwick, Kristina Klebe, Susan Slaughter
Color/77 Minutes/Not Rated
Region Free
Release Date: December 4, 2018

The Film
On Christmas Eve a trio of girls who dress in sexy getups and do a bit of urban exploration for their Youtube channel decide it's the perfect time to visit Santa Land, an abandoned Christmas theme park in the California desert. Upon arriving they find they're not alone and are being hunted by some sort of beast that just so happens to the the Christmas Devil Krampus.

SLAY BELLES has a leading trio of beautiful ladies that are fun to watch romp around old decaying properties which give it a good start right out of the gate. It also features a good looking Krampus monster and a cool twist with the monster bringing in bloody body parts that eventually turn into little chomping hairball monsters that remind me of a cheap version of Critters and a much better version of The Langoliers. Unfortunately these little ankle biters come and go in the blink of an eye and I thought they could have been a very cool and integral part of the movie that up the carnage.

Barry Bostwick stars as a drunk, biker Santa who lives in Santa Land and has been in a decades long battle with Krampus and seems to have had a fun time making this movie and it shows. He's entertaining and likable in the role of jolly Saint Nick and there's a fun twist with his wife that makes for a memorable moment during the climax of the film. SLAY BELLES doesn't feature the cookie baking, hot cocoa making Mrs. Claus we all know and love but unfortunately many of these entertaining moments are cobbled together and come across like ideas that weren't fully hashed out. So we're left with fleeting moments of interesting and entertaining ideas that come and go and had me feeling robbed of what could have been.

 But for all of that there's one thing that SLAY BELLES just does wrong (besides the obnoxious dubstep soundtrack) and that is setting a Christmas movie in the California desert. The idea of setting a Christmas horror movie in Santa Land sounds better on paper than it translates to reality. Even with all of the holiday themed hats and set dressing that this derelict park offered up it simply never felt like Christmas to me. It felt like an imposter and in a movie based around the biggest good and evil that Christmas has to offer it really hurt the impact of it all. SLAY BELLES isn't the best Christmas horror movie in recent years but it is far from the worse.

The Audio & Video
SLAY BELLES hits Blu-ray from the Dread Central Presents line from Epic Pictures just in time for the holiday season and it looks very good. The 16x9 anamorphic widescreen transfer has a strong color palette that makes the colorful costumes worn by the girls and the tacky decorations and Christmas lights pop. Skin tones look wonderful with a healthy flesh tone and no waxiness. Detail level is high among surfaces and textures. The audio comes through crisp and clear with no background noise or distortion. The mix between dialogue and music is nicely done as well.

The Extras
Extras include:
-Audio Commentary with writer and director
-The Making Of SLAY BELLES
-"Cookies and Conversations" Featurette
-Hannah Minx Tours The Set
-Hannah Minx Makeup Tutorial
-SpookyDan short film "Bad Ass Russian In Istanbul"
-SLAY BELLES Trailer

The Bottom Line
I liked a lot of the elements in SLAY BELLES but it never elevated itself above an average affair that too easily and quickly brushed over its best scenes and ideas.

SLAY BELLES is available HERE

Saturday, December 1, 2018

MRS. CLAUS - DVD Review (Wild Eye Releasing)


USA/2017
Directed By: Troy Escamilla
Written by: Troy Escamilla
Starring: Helene Udy, Brinke Stevens, Kaylee Williams
Color/87 Minutes/Not Rated
Region Free
Release Date: November 13, 2018

The Film
A prank at a sorority Christmas party leads to murder. 10 years later the sorority is having holiday party again but as guests begin turning up dead the college students try to survive the night as history seems to be repeating itself.

MRS. CLAUS is another in a long line of Christmas themed slasher films that borrows (you could easily argue that it just plain rips off) the David Hess directed To All A Goodnight except it tones down the sex and nudity quite a bit but it does maintain a healthy kill count and some well done practical special effects. The blood and gore is the reason to check out MRS. CLAUS as it makes the rough acting and recycled story tolerable.


MRS. CLAUS is a pretty straight forward affair with a killer donning a creepy old lady mask and some North Pole garb and does provide some decent albeit cheap entertainment if you're willing to overlook things like bad dialogue, overblown lighting, and a really dime store approach to set dressing. It's far from great but wouldn't be a bad find for fans looking for deeper Christmas horror cuts.

The Audio & Video
Wild Eye Releasing brings MRS. CLAUS to home video with a fairly standard and innocuous DVD release. There's not much in the way of eye catching photography or especially powerful or moving music for the DVD to work with but everything is decent as far as the audio and video are concerned.


The Extras
An audio commentary with the director is the lone extra besides a selection of trailers.


The Bottom Line
We've seen almost this exact same story in a better Christmas slasher before and it isn't an amazing production by any means but it was passably entertaining thanks to some well done practical effects. If you're a slasher die hard or someone looking for Christmas horror that's off the beaten path it may be worth taking a look.

MRS. CLAUS is available HERE

Sunday, November 25, 2018

ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING (DVD Review) - RLJE Films


US/2018
Directed By: Rebekah McKendry, David Ian McKendry
Written By: Rebekah McKendry, David Ian McKendry
Starring: Constance Wu, Jocelin Donahue, Jonathan Kite
Color/80 Minutes/Not Rated
Region 1
Release Date: December 4, 2018

The Film
A couple who would otherwise be spending Christmas Eve alone get together to see an offbeat holiday stage play. Each different act of the play turns into a chapter of this anthology for us to watch. Everything from the holiday office party from hell, a demon that you literally can't get away from, and some stalker action too You would think that getting to see actual short films would be more interesting than seeing what our main couple would be seeing on that tiny theater stage but after viewing ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING I'm just not so sure of that. Maybe the absolutely minimalist version of these stories would have been better. Ok, probably not, but what we're given isn't anything special either.


The best part of ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING is easily the ensemble cast who almost all turn in solid to great performances. The directorial team of Rebekah and David Ian McKendry show some skill behind the camera but even with solid performances and well made shorts nothing saves this movie from being a dreadfully boring 80 minutes that is void of any real Christmas spirit or feeling. Nothing about ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING feels like a Christmas movie, horror or not. The stories are barely linked to the holiday and even the set dressings that may have at least put lipstick on the pig were barely Christmasy.

Sadly that's all there is to say. A good cast and competent direction didn't have a chance at saving this lifeless horror anthology.


The Audio & Video
RLJE Films delivers ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING on DVD with a sharp looking 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. Black levels are deep and the colors are vibrant and true to life. For a standard definition release this is a nice looking DVD. The audio is clear and mixed nicely so that the dialogue and music compliment each other. There's no distortions to the audio.


The Extras
A feature length commentary track from the filmmakers is included.


The Bottom Line
There's so many Christmas horror movies that are worth watching that you really don't need to bother with this one at all. Skip it.

ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING is available HERE

Thursday, November 15, 2018

ANTHROPOPHAGOUS - Severin Films Blu-ray Review


Italy/1980
Directed By: Joe D'Amato
Written By: George Eastman, Joe D'Amato
Starring: Tisa Farrow, Saverio Vallone, Serena Grandi
Color/90 Minutes/Not Rated
Region Free
Release Date: September 25, 2018


The Film
ANTHROPOPHAGUS is an infamous horror film from Italian director Joe D'Amato who is responsible for some of the sleaziest and most shocking horror films to come out of Italy. The story centers around a group of vacationers who find themselves trapped on a small Italian island that has been seemingly abandoned and all of the buildings left empty. They qiuckly discover that a disfigured monster of a man has been terrorizing the island and surrounding waters and eating his victims to stay alive.

Joe D'Amato and George Eastman (Luigi Montefiori) co-wrote this pretty straight forward horror film that works because the gore sequences are linked together by an atmosphere of uneasy dread and seclusion for the group trying to find a way off the island without becoming the grim reaper's lunch. Pacing was a bit of an issue for me on my first viewing of the movie but as the years have gone by and I've subsequently seen the film several times that issue has really gone by the wayside for me. I have no issue with the pacing and think there's plenty of action throughout the movie, giving us enough to wrap around the two huge hitting gore scenes that will always pop up in discussion of the film. The acting is on par for Italian horror of this era but the inclusion of a young Serena Grandi playing a blind girl, surviving in the shadows of this island until she's found by the main group adds an interesting dynamic to the group and she also proves a capable counterpart to Tisa Farrow and Saverio Vallone.

ANTHROPOPHAGUS is a pretty straight forward horror film that relies on its signature kills and gore for a reaction and it works as nearly forty years after its release the gore moments are still shocking and very well done and George Eastman is still a horrifying sight. It may not be a work of art but it is one of the most notable Video Nasties and for good reason.

The Audio & Video
Severin Films delivers ANTHROPOPHAGUS on to Blu-ray for its US high definition debut with a new 2K scan from the original 16mm negative. Previously available on DVD in the US and on Blu-ray from 88 Films in the UK, Severin's new release outshines them all. The picture is sharper than any previous release with a rich and natural color palette. Detail is strong and beautifully displays the gruesome special effects, monster makeup and finer textures around the abandoned island.

The film is presented in either English or Italian in a 2.0 DTS HD Master Audio mix, each with optional English subtitles and closed captioning. The audio quality is quite clear and free of any distortions or background noise. It may not be the most dynamic mix but it's properly mixed and sounds as it should.

The Extras
-"Don't Fear The Man-Eater" - An interview with George Eastman
-"The Man Who Killed  The Anthropophagous" - An interview with star Saverio Vallone
-"Cannibal Frenzy" - An interview with special effects artist Pietro Tenoglio
-"Brother and Sister In Editing" - Interview with Bruno Micheli
-"Inside Zora's Mouth" - Interview with actress Zora Kerova
-Trailer Selection

The Bottom Line
Thanks to Severin Films ANTHROPOPHAGUS finally has a release good enough to match its reputation of a gory classic of the Video Nasty era.

ANTHROPOPHAGUS is available HERE

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

MANDY - Blu-ray Review (RLJE Films)


USA/2018
Directed By: Panos Cosmatos
Written By: Panos Cosmatos, Aaron Stewart-Ahn
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache
Color/121 Minutes/Not Rated
Region A
Release Date: October 30, 2018

The Film
Panos Cosmatos stormed on to the scene in 2010 with his film Beyond The Black Rainbow which focused on high style and visuals as more important pieces than traditional storytelling and while it wasn't a total grand slam it certainly made an impression. Now eight years later Cosmatos has finally made his second feature film- MANDY. This horror film starring Nic Cage as a logger hellbent on revenge for the murder of his wife features many of the same visual styles, color schemes and overall atmosphere that BTBR does.

MANDY is a much simpler story although it is presented in two vicious halves with the first being a bit of a slow build toward the ultimate climax that will set Nicolas Cage into his frenzied fury of revenge where he will wield everything from shotguns to the most ridiculous handcrafted battle axe you've ever seen. The first act is wonderfully crafted and deliberately paced. You immediately connect about this husband and wife and Andrea Riseborough who plays the titular character is simply someone you care about with a warm and heartfelt performance. The tension and violence builds until the ultimate act of hate is committed and in incredibly vicious fashion. And then the second half kicks in right where the first left off and the pedal is pushed fully to the floor and Nic Cage goes into full fucking Nic Cage mode and becomes an absolute madman of the screen from the moment he gives us a signature Nic Cage freak out and loses any and all attachment to reality and becomes a husband hellbent on revenge.

What ensues is an acid bath of color, sound, blood and guts, and vivid and extreme imagery. MANDY pushes the senses to their limits and is a visceral affair from start to finish. You will experience harsh angles, extreme violence, and the Cheddar Goblin. You will remember MANDY whether you hate it or love it. I love it.

The Audio & Video
Boy oh boy does the Blu-ray from RLJE do MANDY justice. This film is visually striking to put it plainly and this Blu-ray that features a 2.40:1 aspect ratio simply does it justice. The floods of color with mainly hues of red are popping and the detail is exceptional. Black levels are deep and show no signs of blocking or compression. The 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio mix is powerful and attacks the audience in the same way Nic Cage attacks his enemies. It's vicious. It's also crystal clear and free of distortions and background noise.

The Extras
Extra features include a behind-the-scenes featurette and a selection of deleted and extended scenes.

The Bottom Line
MANDY's Blu-ray treatment is worthy of the modern classic that it has already become. Highly recommended and damn near essential viewing.

MANDY is available HERE

Saturday, November 3, 2018

October Horror Challenge 2018 Days 30 and 31

Let's wrap this bad boy up shall we?


The last 2 days were pretty strong with three out of the five viewings being new to me so let's start with THE BONEYARD from 1991. This movie is just plain fun. A detective, a psychic and the night crew of a morgue get locked in with three mummified corpses that aren't actually the children they appear to be but demons that can mutate their victims into hideous and monstrous versions of themselves... including the poodle. This is just a blast. Phyllis Diller as the spunky old receptionist at the morgue is a delight and it's just a shame we don't get a bit more giant monster poodle mayhem. Seriously, this thing is bloody, wild, and fun.


Then came THE UNNAMABLE which adapts the H.P. Lovecraft story of the same name into a campy monster movie that I've always enjoyed. The devilmangoatbeast monster is horrifying and makes me uncomfortable every time I see it. It gets a bit dry in the middle but it's a spooky little slice of Lovecraft that always satisfies.


And we wrap things up with day 31, Halloween. I had no plans for the big day sadly. Growing up sucks. My depression was kept to a minimum knowing I would have a chance to see the Suspiria remake later that night though. I managed to get through the lame day with an early viewing of SEVEN WOMEN FOR SATAN who's artwork screams "The French movie banned in France!". This is a dreamy, surreal vision into a wealthy man who dreams of torturing and killing beautiful women and acts on his fantasy when a couple with car troubles seek refuge in his castle and ask to see the castle's dungeon and torture devices. Dreams and reality intertwine in this one that has a few really memorable sequences and is overall pretty decent Euro horror.


Then it was time for the day's main event, Luca Guadagnino's SUSPIRIA. In short, I liked it. Quite a bit actually, but this film deserves another viewing so I can sort out some questionable feelings I have about it. It certainly sets itself apart from the original Argento classic while keeping the original spirit in tact. This is not a ripoff or sad impostor of the original but doesn't forget why it exists. I recommend checking it out if you get the chance.


And what better way to end the challenge than following up the remake of Suspiria with the original? My favorite film of all time. Enough said.

Today's Rundown
The Boneyard - 7.5/10
The Unnamable - 7/10
Seven Women For Satan - 6/10
Suspiria '18 - 8/10
Suspiria - 10/10

Thursday, November 1, 2018

October Horror Challenge 2018 Day 29


TERROR ON TOUR is a rock & roll horror movie featuring a band called The Clowns who were played by a band called The Names from Illinois and weren't awful. The band's gimmick of painting themselves up like 4th rate Kiss wannabes and committing fake murder on stage has led to real murders being committed at their concerts. Well I sort of like this movie. Or what I could see of it. I don't think there's a single scene that is lit properly (or at all) so many of the killings, sex scenes and anything interesting is unintentionally left to the shadows. Director Don Edmonds previously made two Ilsa movies (She Wolf and Harem Keeper) so I know he knows how to make an exploitation film but maybe he forgot to call the lighting department on this one. It's a bit bland and repetitive obviously having little money to work with but it's still worth a look. It's just a shame that there's really no way this is ever going to look good because of the abysmal lighting.


PANIC aka Bakterion features the age old tale of a scientist doing something they probably shouldn't (messing around with highly dangerous bacteria and gerbils in this case) and transforming into a monster because of it (a deformed, goopy, mess of a man in this case). The puss and boil covered man runs amok on his town attacking residents and spreading disease all while eating the flesh of his victims. It's a bit slow, but it's a classic example of a monster on the loose romp but with a bit more slime to it. Italian schlock fans take note.

Today's Rundown
Terror On Tour 4.5/10
Panic 6/10

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

October Horror Challenge 2018 - Days 24-28

I was limited to a single movie each day during this stretch so I'm combining them all into this single post. 


Day 24 was possibly my favorite viewing of ANTHROPOPHAGUS that I've ever had due to the fantastic new Blu-ray from Severin Films. The movie has never looked this good before, even in the previous UK Blu-ray release from 88 Films. Severin's disc really improves the A/V quality. I love the atmosphere created in this gore classic and who doesn't love watching George Eastman munch on everyone within arm's reach before finally chowing down on his own intestines? People call this thing boring? Boring? Boring!? Absurd surely but boring it is not. 


The 80s nostalgia boom these last few years has been extremely hit or miss and SUMMER OF '84 is another case of that. While I think the mostly child cast does a really great job and the movie is undoubtedly well made it offers nothing new and feels like all of the effort was put in to creating the 80s look and setting and nothing into writing a fresh story. I don't want to rag on it too hard because it really is well made but it feels like a checklist of 80s nostalgia projects. 


Onto THE WNUF HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, a nostalgia project that creates an entire world around a simple but effective story. This was the perfect thing to relax in bed with before having to wake up around 5am the next morning. It's silly, light and pure fun. 


KNOCK KNOCK is an Eli Roth film starring Keanu Reeves as an architect who is intruded upon by a pair of beautiful girls while working alone at home one night. These girls proceed to feed him lies about their situation and seduce him and then their true intentions come out the next morning and they drive him to his breaking point. Keanu's acting is about as bad as it has ever been which actually makes his freak out monologue worth seeking out on Youtube. Otherwise this movie is stupid and not worth a damn. 


A movie that has an alternate title of Dead Dudes In The House can't be bad, right? Especially when the art work has a group of dudes looking like a bootleg New Kids On The Block who aren't even in the movie hanging tough on the cover right? Right. THE DEAD COME HOME is quite a bit of fun featuring a group of teens fixing up this old house that is haunted by this ghastly old woman who slices and dices the teens bringing them back from the dead to help her bloody rampage. It's filled with some memorable kills, a good bit of blood and gore, and a fun spooky vibe. I dug it. 

Today's Rundown
Anthropophagus - 7.5/10
Summer Of '84 - 4/10
The WNUF Halloween Special - 8/10
Knock Knock - 3.5/10
The Dead Come Home - 6.5/10

Monday, October 29, 2018

October Horror Challenge 2018 Day 23


Screw the haters... I like Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN. Remove your expectations of what a Halloween movie should be and who Michael Myers is and just enjoy this entertaining modern slasher. It's laughable at times, especially early on when the movie is in full blown white trash mode but it's pretty brutal, has good music and Ken Foree's Joe Grizzly character is great. It's cheap entertainment and I'm okay with it.


Revisiting Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 was an experience. I was a full on hater of the sequel. I thought it was absolute trash, a laughable attempt at being artistic. Abysmally bad. Inept. Shit. Puke. Well, maybe I was a bit harsh on it. It still ranks toward the bottom of the Halloween franchise for me but I appreciated what Rob Zombie was trying to do here. I actually liked his version of Dr. Loomis who says fuck it and tries to get rich off of the whole ordeal from the first movie. I like that Rob Zombie tried to do something different. I felt like I had to take a good hard look at myself in the mirror and admit that I didn't hate it. I still don't think it's great, and that the white horse shit just doesn't add anything to that entire part of the story but this may be the biggest turn around I've ever had in the 10 years I've been doing this challenge. From absolutely hating something to thinking it's okay. I never expected that to happen with this one.


Despite being the target audience upon its release I had never seen more than a few minutes of HOCUS POCUS. This early 90s Disney flop has gained a cult following over the years with Disney even trying to turn it into Halloween's version of A Christmas Story with a continuous 24 hours marathon of the film. I can see why it has gained a following - it's cute and funny. It has some moments that younger kids would find spooky but not too scary. This is a fine movie to celebrate the season with but isn't top tier Disney.


THE ALPHABET KILLER... more like the generic horror thriller... The ABCs of been there, done that.

Today's Rundown
Halloween - 6/10
Halloween 2 - 5/10
Hocus Pocus - 6/10
Alphabet Killer - 4/10

October Horror Challenge 2018 Days 20-22


HELL HOUSE LLC isn't something I knew anything about until seeing a handful of people praise it for being an effective and well made found footage film. With reluctance I gave it a chance and by the end of it I found myself agreeing (for the most part) with the positive reviews. The acting was believable and it had some creepy moments. It's nothing groundbreaking but worth a watch especially for fans of this style of horror.


THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE has been highly praised in most of the reviews for it that I have seen. The film grabbed me immediately and pulled me in and I was excited to see where it was going. Something about Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox working as a father and son medical examiner team was just plain interesting to me and I liked their relationship and their dynamic. The "Jane Doe" corpse came in and a few of the things they found about the dead body were weird and creepy, building to something I was getting more and more excited to discover. And then the film turned into the horror movie it would be and it became entirely too obvious and familiar letting a promising slow burn build stumble and come up a few yards short of the goal line.


Then I decided to take a trip back to the Abbadon Hotel with HELL HOUSE LLL 2: THE ABBADON HOTEL and let me sum this one up as fast as I can for you. The filmmakers took everything that worked for the first one and threw it out the fucking window. The acting sucks. The story sucks. The twist ending sucks. It is simply fucking awful and everyone responsible for it should feel bad.


You might think that a movie called I MARRIED A VAMPIRE from 1986 would be fun right? What if I told you Troma distributed it theatrically? Well you'd be wrong, just like I was. The comedy isn't funny. The main girl is an obnoxious twat and I really don't have much nice to say at all.


And the long wait was finally over... The new HALLOWEEN film from director David Gordon Green forgets every film of the franchise except the original, wiping away the sister storyline, the Mark of Thorn storyline, and anything else you knew about Michael Myers post 1978. The storylines with Halloween are already messy enough so I wasn't upset about the direction they took this in and for the most part I had a good time with it. I didn't love it but I definitely liked it. Jamie Lee Curtis gives a strong performance, John Carpenter's score is a throwback to the quality of his classic soundtracks and there's some nasty kills.

Today's Rundown
Hell House LLC - 6/10
The Autopsy Of Jane Doe - 5/10
Hell House LLC 2 - 1/10
I Married A Vampire - 3/10
Halloween - 6.5/10

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

October Horror Challenge 2018 Day 19


The fun thing about these marathons is finding hidden gems and pleasant surprises. DEAD SHACK was one of those unexpected hits. This 2017 release is about a brother and sister and their friend who are travel to a run down cabin for a small getaway with their father and his girlfriend. The family encounters a nearby cabin where the owner is kidnapping people and feeding them to her undead family. The three teens in this movie have good chemistry together and the dad is genuinely funny. There's some gory moments and plenty of laughs to be had. I had good fun with this one.


Another fun thing about these marathons is finally getting around to check out movies I have either missed out on or simply put off for a long time like I did with BLOOD HARVEST. This slasher film is infamous for co-starring folk musician Tiny Tim as a weird creepy clown character and for doing some of the music. To my surprise he's actually pretty damn good in his role and I found the film to really work at being creepy and a bit weird. I'm glad this one finally has a nice home video release.


One of my main thoughts about JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER is that there was a lot of Jesse James and a good bit of Frankenstein's Daughter but it took a while for them to meet and even after they meet their stories take a bit for their stories to really meld together but this one was surprisingly competent even if it was longer than need be which made it drag. There's some goofy moments but the acting was better than expected and the story somehow made sense. It's still far too boring to give a positive review to but I expected this to be way worse than it was.


I finished day 19 with THE EVIL DEAD. What more is there to say about it than that? It's one of my favorite movies ever.

Cult Epics Announce 20th Anniversary VHS Editions Of PIG

Hot off the heels of their successful and attractive limited edition VHS releases of Jorg Buttgereit's Nekromantik, Cult Epics has announced an extremely limited 20th Anniversary Edition VHS Box Set for their arthouse horror release PIG! See below for synopsis, product information and links to purchase! Hurry, because these won't be around long! 

Cult Epics present

PIG  (USA, 1998)
a film by Nico B & Rozz Williams
20th Anniversary 

PIG Original VHS (1999) NTSC
Lost and found last copies!


Synopsis:
Pig, a film depicting the relationship between a killer (Rozz Williams) and his victim (James Hollan) where all lines are crossed, blending fantasy and reality. This poetic film is a transformation of the subconscious mind of a killer, graphically showing the manifestation of itself into abstract forms and material, all deriving from his suffering and desperation.

Debut underground short film by Cult Epics founder Nico B. 
PIG, was the last project of Rozz Williams; writer, artist, musician; formerly known from the rock group Christian Death amongst others. R.W. (Who died 1.4.1998) spoke of the film as a form of exorcism and transition of his personal demons.


PIG VHS

Feature film + 5 Outtakes
Original edition of 1334 copies, numbers #775-#799
Exclusively signed on back by director Nico B
Original black Case

© Cult Epics 1998/2018



PIG 20th Anniversary VHS Box Set

Exclusive Box set art by Rozz Williams
Limited edition of 25 box sets, numbered includes:
PIG VHS Feature film + 5 Outtakes
Original edition of 1334 copies, numbers #800-#824
Numbered & Signed by Nico B
PIG Original one of a kind Super 8mm Outtake frame feat. RW with Lizard
PIG Original postcard, 1998
PIG T-shirt (S, M, L, XL) 
PIG Exclusive set of 7 Lobbycards (8.5”x11” inches) art by Rozz Williams
PIG “Why God Permits Evil” Enamel Pin

© Cult Epics 1998/2018

$99.95

PIG 20th Anniversary Enamel Pin 
“WHY GOD PERMITS EVIL”
Exclusive Limited Edition
$12.00
Artwork by Rozz Williams
Antique silver 3D Enamel Pin 
(1.25” x 1.25” inches)

Limited Edition of 250


$12.00
FREE SHIPPING
As Add-on

Cult Epics/Rozz Williams Legacy


ALSO AVAILABLE :


PIG/1334 BLU-RAY/DVD COMBO
Last 250 numbered copies of edition of 2300!

30% OFF RETAIL PRICE
(Available for a limited time only)


PIG/1334 Blu-ray/DVD Combo w/booklet
$24.95

October Horror Challenge 2018 Day 18


Growing up I was a lover of all things Goosebumps. R.L. Stine wasn't my introduction to horror but he certainly helped cultivate the seeds that had already been planted. I have fond memories of reading the books during free time at school, when I was stuck inside on a rainy day and whenever a book report was due it was Goosebumps I turned to. Though my fondest memories of the books were when my grandfather would read them to me until I fell asleep which usually didn't take more than 10 minutes so one book could last an entire's week worth of bedtime stories. I was also a fan of the TV show but have had mixed emotions on it upon revisiting the series that directly adapted stories from the series in to half hour (and sometimes hour long) screen versions. And my fandom really has never stopped because even a couple years ago as I was pushing 30 years old I was ecstatic to hear of a feature length film. In short I thought the movie was good fun and would gladly take another. Now on the wrong side of 30 we got GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN and in short I yet again say it was good fun. The film revolves around a group of kids that unleash Slappy, an evil ventriloquist dummy from an unfinished R.L. Stine novel. Slappy plans to use the magic in the book to bring Halloween to life and take over the town. Combining famous monsters from the book series including the lawn gnomes, jack-o-lanterns, Abominable Snowman of Pasadena and the werewolf from Fever Swamp with animated Halloween decorations includng light up witch hats and a 3 story balloon spider, the kids must use their wits to outsmart the evil dummy. This one is more of a kids adventure film drenched in Halloween than a proper Goosebumps movie but the addition of the Goosebumps character and even a small appearance from Jack Black reprising his role as Stine from the first movie make it all the better. It's flawed and I would rather see a studio adaptation of some of the Goosebumps books I am satisfied with the movies we've seen and I think GOOSEBUMPS 2: HAUNTED HALLOWEEN will be an unsung favorite of the Halloween season for families to enjoy together in years to come. On a personal note, it probably gets a slight boost in my mind because I was able to enjoy it in theaters with my grandfather who read the stories to me all those years ago and we enjoyed a nice trip down memory lane.


DEVILFISH aka MONSTER SHARK is the exact type of awesome trash I love from Lamberto Bava! Earlier this month I watched his film Ghost Son and absolutely loathed it and pretty much knew I would but loving so much of his early work made me interested in his more recent stuff... I'm a masochist in that way. MONSTER SHARK did not disappoint. Michael Sopkiw rules as he runs around shirtless, messing around with women and drinking beer while still trying to find and take down this massive shark/octopus/fish thing that is royally fucking up the boaters in this town. Evil villains and explosions and gore and 90 minutes of me having a great time. This movie rules.


And then we end with EXPOSURE, yet another random TV watch while I was laying in bed for the night. I thought this was going to be a bad Evil Dead ripoff. I wished it was a bad Evil Dead ripoff. It wishes it was a bad Evil Dead ripoff. If you can get past the bad acting, the bad writing and the go-nowhere first half you get to a spot where this dude runs off into the woods and his long lost grandfather comes back looking all shitty and fucked up and so does the first guy and then spooky shit happens. I tuned out of this nonsense about the halfway mark. It honks.

Today's Rundown
Goosebumps 2 - 6/10
Monster Shark - 7.5/10
Exposure - 2/10

Monday, October 22, 2018

October Horror Challenge 2018 Days 16 and 17


THE BLACK SCORPION... Picture this... gigantic volcanoes in Mexico rivaling Vesuvius, a world of giant insects inside of these volcanoes with wars between these massive bugs, then they come to the surface and terrorize everything from trains to towns before the military sends tanks and bombs after them in a soccer stadium all in glorious stop motion animation. Yeah I had a ton of fun with it.


Somethings you just have to see for yourself to realize how fantastic they really are. DOOM ASYLUM is one of those things. This is cheese of the moldiest and stinkiest order. Limburger ain't got shit on this! It's gory, filled with so much fodder for the cannon it isn't even funny and it's very fast paced with a kill happening every time the camera cuts it seems. The characters are outlandish at times and the dialogue is ridiculous. I love it. 


PINOCCHIO'S REVENGE was another random TV pick to fall asleep with that actually made me perk up a bit when I saw that it was directed by Kevin S. Tenney of Night Of The Demons and Witchboard fame, two classics of the 80s. Maybe this will be surprisingly good I thought to myself as I lay awake now. It didn't take but half an hour for me to fall asleep and finish this snoozer the next day. It's a 4th rate Child's Play ripoff without anything that Child's Play has going for it. 

Today's Rundown
The Black Scorpion - 7.5/10
Doom Asylum - 8.5/10
Pinocchio's Revenge - 3/10