THE BLACK SCORPION... Picture this... gigantic volcanoes in Mexico rivaling Vesuvius, a world of giant insects inside of these volcanoes with wars between these massive bugs, then they come to the surface and terrorize everything from trains to towns before the military sends tanks and bombs after them in a soccer stadium all in glorious stop motion animation. Yeah I had a ton of fun with it.
Somethings you just have to see for yourself to realize how fantastic they really are. DOOM ASYLUM is one of those things. This is cheese of the moldiest and stinkiest order. Limburger ain't got shit on this! It's gory, filled with so much fodder for the cannon it isn't even funny and it's very fast paced with a kill happening every time the camera cuts it seems. The characters are outlandish at times and the dialogue is ridiculous. I love it.
PINOCCHIO'S REVENGE was another random TV pick to fall asleep with that actually made me perk up a bit when I saw that it was directed by Kevin S. Tenney of Night Of The Demons and Witchboard fame, two classics of the 80s. Maybe this will be surprisingly good I thought to myself as I lay awake now. It didn't take but half an hour for me to fall asleep and finish this snoozer the next day. It's a 4th rate Child's Play ripoff without anything that Child's Play has going for it.
The Black Scorpion - 7.5/10
Doom Asylum - 8.5/10
Pinocchio's Revenge - 3/10