THE BLACK SCORPION... Picture this... gigantic volcanoes in Mexico rivaling Vesuvius, a world of giant insects inside of these volcanoes with wars between these massive bugs, then they come to the surface and terrorize everything from trains to towns before the military sends tanks and bombs after them in a soccer stadium all in glorious stop motion animation. Yeah I had a ton of fun with it.
Somethings you just have to see for yourself to realize how fantastic they really are. DOOM ASYLUM is one of those things. This is cheese of the moldiest and stinkiest order. Limburger ain't got shit on this! It's gory, filled with so much fodder for the cannon it isn't even funny and it's very fast paced with a kill happening every time the camera cuts it seems. The characters are outlandish at times and the dialogue is ridiculous. I love it.
PINOCCHIO'S REVENGE was another random TV pick to fall asleep with that actually made me perk up a bit when I saw that it was directed by Kevin S. Tenney of Night Of The Demons and Witchboard fame, two classics of the 80s. Maybe this will be surprisingly good I thought to myself as I lay awake now. It didn't take but half an hour for me to fall asleep and finish this snoozer the next day. It's a 4th rate Child's Play ripoff without anything that Child's Play has going for it. Today's Rundown The Black Scorpion - 7.5/10 Doom Asylum - 8.5/10 Pinocchio's Revenge - 3/10
This Halloween tune in to COMET TV as they bring you the horror classics that will send shivers down your spine. Before Buffy, before Edward, and before a certain Count, there was Nosferatu. The classic Vampire film, which is followed by The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and The original Phantom of the Opera.
Sure to send you to another world, COMET TV brings Space: 1999 and Babylon 5 back for classic spacey adventures! Everyday you can see Babylon 5 and Space: 1999 has back-to-back episodes on Saturday and Sunday evenings! Talk about out of this world!
So you can’t sleep? COMET TV has the solution with cult classic midnight movies airing Mon - Fri! You can pencil in Night of the Creeps, get sucked into Vampires on Bikini Beach and do your best to escape The House on Haunted Hill!
And CHARGE! has the classic series CHiPs! Join Ponch and Jon as they cruse the freeways of Los Angeles solving crime… Back when you could cruse the freeways of Los Angeles!
To usher in the spooky happenings of October we want to give your readers the chance to win he COMET TV and CHARGE! October Prize Pack!
The Comet TV and CHARGE! October Prize Pack has:
1 - Limited Edition Nosferatu Shirt: Only available via this promotion, this creepy T-Shirt is sure to make your neighbors and friends shriek with envy! AHHHHHHHHH!
1 - COMET TV Blood Bag Water Bottle: I would like some Type-A Negative please. No matter what your flavor, this novelty water bottle is the perfect thing to fill up for an on the go refreshment.
1- COMET TV Stargate Magnets: Show off your spacey side with these super fresh Babylon 5 magnets. Perfect for any new recruit looking to sign up for new spacey adventures!
1 - COMET TV Midnight Movies Blood Splattered Candy: Do you have a bit of a sweet tooth? This candy assortment will give you that sugar rush you’re craving! There’s Ghost Poofs, suckers, bugs, lizards and more!
2 - Exclusive CHARGE! CHiPs Ticket Memo Pad: Do you see someone breaking the law and you just have to sound off and tell them? Is someone’s parking THAT bad you want to be like… Dude come on? Now’s your chance! Write them a little note, and maybe mention that CHiPs is heading to CHARGE! as well!
TO ENTER 1. Send an email entitled "October Comet Giveaway" to CelluloidTerror@yahoo.com and include your full mailing address (US only, sorry!) 2. Tell me your favorite movie to watch at Halloween and your favorite fall treats
Airing on COMET in October
YOU DON’T NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO WATCH THESE GREAT MOVIES…
THEY’RE AIRING FOR FREE ON COMET!
Babylon 5 (series)
New on COMET in October! Creator J. Michael Straczynski's ambitious and complex futuristic space opera charts five years in the lives of those aboard the titular 5-mile-long space station, where personal drama plays out against a tense political backdrop of looming war between bitter enemies the Centauri and the Narn.
In October, Babylon 5 airs every day at Noon/11 C and every night at 9/8 C
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Hushaween (Halloween Marathon)
This Halloween tune in to COMET as they bring you the silent horror classics that will send shivers down your spine. Before Buffy, before Edward, and before a certain Count, there was Nosferatu. Catch the classic Vampire film, followed by The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and The Phantom of the Opera.
Halloween night October 31 starting at 10/9 C
Nosferatu
at 10/9 C
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
at MIDNIGHT/11 C
The Phantom of the Opera
at 2:30a/1:30 C
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MIDNIGHT MOVIES
So you can’t sleep? COMET TV has the solution with cult classic midnight movies airing Mon - Fri! You can pencil in Night of the Creeps, get sucked into Vampires on Bikini Beach and do your best to escape The House on Haunted Hill!
Weeknights at MIDNIGHT/11 C
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
COCKNEY VS. ZOMBIES
THE FALLING
AFTER MIDNIGHT
VAMPIRES ON BIKINI BEACH
WOLF
WITCHBOARD
BATS
GHOST TOWN
SCARECROWS
NIGHT OF THE CREEPS
UNSPEAKABLE
PALE BLOOD
SUGAR HILL
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL
THE RAGE: CARRIE 2
AND MORE...
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House of the Long Shadows (1984)
Four horror masters team up for chills, thrills and comedy! Join Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and John Carradine as they head to a seemingly deserted manor. One by one the visitors are picked off, and trapped in the giant estate! But who could be the killer?
Friday, October 26 at MIDNIGHT/11 C
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Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
You've heard of Carrie White, haven't you? Well, don’t worry because she’s not here in the sequel to the classic, instead we get Rachel who inconceivably is Carrie White’s half sister. And… She’s also telekinetic! Say wha? It’s up to Sue Snell to try and save her from succumbing to Carrie White’s fate!
Wednesday, October 24 at MIDNIGHT/11 C
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Airing on CHARGE! in October
CHiPs (Series)
California Highway Patrol motorcycle officers Jon Baker and Frank "Ponch" Poncherello cruise the freeways of Los Angeles, solve crimes and help people in trouble in this cop show. The stakes usually weren't very high -- the better to highlight the personal lives of Ponch and Jon.
Weekdays at 11a/10 C
Weeknights at 6/5 C
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Warrior (2011)
An estranged family finds redemption in the unlikeliest of places: the MMA ring. Tommy (Tom Hardy), an ex-Marine with a tragic past, returns home and enlists his father (Nick Nolte), a recovering alcoholic and former wrestling coach, to train him for "Sparta," the biggest MMA tournament ever held. But when Tommy's underdog brother, Brendan (Joel Edgerton), fights his way into the tournament, the two brothers must finally confront each other and the forces that pulled them apart.
Day 14 had but a single viewing and it was further confused my opinion on Dan Curtis. He's very hit or miss with me and his made-for-TV anthology DEAD OF NIGHT is a miss. It's dull as pile of wet grass.
And we conclude the REC series with REC 4: APOCALYPSE. It gets a little wacky with some new twists in the story but the setting has now shifted to a ship where the military has set up a makeshift lab and hope to eliminate the virus with a new antidote. The infection spreads, and the tight confines of the ship make for fast virus transmissions. It's the most adrenaline driven of the series and remains bloody as fuck. I'm not a big fan of every decision they made with this one but I still think it is great.
I'm pretty easy to please with Satanic horror from the 70s and ENTER THE DEVIL is proof of that. Honestly, not a whole hell of a lot happens in this one but give me some moody devil worshippers in their robes, doing some evil shit around a pentagram and chanting in a cave and I'm on board. It's human sacrifice, desert caves, beer drinking sheriffs and a Satanic cult from the 70s... this shit was just better back then.
If Dan Curtis' Dead Of Night was boring well at least it made sense and had good production values. ROCK-A-DIE-BABY was a fucking mess. It starts with a shitty band in a shitty damp basement with their shitty agent who hires them to write a song for a shitty movie and they accept it so they can make a shitty video in a shitty cemetery that for some reason has a half naked chick hanging out with a giant tiger in it. Then it cuts to a mom telling her daughter inappropriate bedtime stories of a small platoon of soldiers in the Vietnam War who capture a naked woman hiding in a small village who turns out to be a vampire. Then there's some lameass story about a group of drunk teens who play a prank with a Ouija board and end up actually finding a spooky surprise. There may have been another story after that but I honestly don't even remember anymore. This is all cut up with scenes in that stupid cemetery of that band playing their shitty song.
Today's Rundown
Dead Of Night - 4/10
Rec 4 - 8/10
Enter The Devil - 5.5/10
Rock-A-Die-Baby - 2.5/10
Constance Wu, Amanda Fuller, Jonathan Kite, Jocelin Donahue, Graham Skipper and Ashley Clements
Directed and Written By
David Ian McKendry and Rebekah McKendry
Ho, ho, no! The joyful spirit of the holidays is about to take one dark turn after another. From sadistic office parties and last-minute shopping nightmares, to vengeful stalkers and immortal demons, there’s plenty out there to keep you from getting out of bed to see what’s under the tree this holiday season. Constance Wu (Crazy Rich Asians) and Jonathan Kite (“2 Broke Girls”) headline a sensational ensemble cast in this devilish stocking stuffer of a movie.
REC 3: Genesis was a pretty hotly debated film when it was released in 2012. The highly regarded REC sequel had a bit of a format change, as the found footage style was used sparingly and the movie took a decidedly more comedic and action oriented approach, branching out of the apartment building setting we spent our time in during the first two films and placing us amongst the crowd of a fun and fancy wedding reception that quickly falls victim to the same infection we've come to be quite familiar with. The most important thing is to watch this film for what it is and not condemn it for what it is not. Most of the time the complaints about the film revolve around it being a shift in style and tone from the first two. If you let your guard down I think you'll find that REC 3 is genuinely funny and well written, equally as exciting and uber gory as the first two films. Hell it's even a bit heartwarming.
Having a big social media following can be invaluable, especially if you're looking to crowdsource funding for a film. That's how RED EYE was funded. This West Virginia slasher film had surprisingly good direction from Tristan Clay which made the film look better than I was expecting but even at 73 minutes the movie is filled with padding and boring stretches of obnoxious stupid dialogue. There's a twist to the story that made me perk up the tiniest bit but by that point I was pretty much checked out. There's some potential here in the crew but for a film that raised over $12,000 it looks like a chunk of the funding went elsewhere.
I ended with a re-watch of HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION and I'm sure you're wondering why. Well I am too. I don't know, I felt like giving that one another watch. It still isn't good but I do think the plot is an interesting idea putting a bunch of people in the Myers house to spend Halloween night while it's being streamed live on the internet. Unbeknownst to them Michael has been living in the house living of of rats and pissed off that people are in his house. He goes on a basic killing spree until Busta Rhymes karate kicks his ass into the morgue. It's a bad Halloween movie and a pretty generic slasher film but for 2002 I think the set up and main idea is actually pretty damn good and innovative.
I started my journey through the REC series on day 12. It had been a bit since I watched any of them and I've never watched the whole series in a short period of time. With the new Scream Factory boxset in my hands the time was now. I think the first REC film is a damn near perfect horror movie and the best found footage movie ever made. It is well written and acted, suspenseful and tense, has an interesting setting, a likable lead and a story you can grasp on to immediately. It's also bloody as shit and scary as hell. It's one of the few movies I put on and immediately get a feeling in the pit of my stomach because I know what it lies ahead.
I switched things up with PET, a film I'd heard a good amount of praise for a couple years ago when it was released onto DVD. The film revolves around a quiet man working at an animal shelter who becomes obsessed with a girl he knew in high school after seeing her on the bus one day. He eventually kidnaps her and keeps her caged up in the shelter and learns she is a much darker person than he could ever imagine. And so is he. Meh. He goes from normal nice guy to kidnapping weirdo in about 2 seconds flat. It's incredibly hard to believe. It's okay I guess.
Back to REC with part 2 which follows the original just minutes after it ends. This entry takes a bit more of a high adrenaline action route to a very similar progression of events as the first but make no mistake, this is still a film built on suspense but has no problems getting up in your face with blood and violence. Again the characters are easy to like and you route for them. It expands on the story of the first one adding in a new element that keeps the first one in line but still spins it in a crazy direction. It is the smallest possible step down from the first but remains one of the best horror films of this century so far.
BREEDERS was a spur of the moment decision when I stumbled upon it on Comcast's free On Demand listings. and one I'm glad I decided to watch. This is total 80s trash that is filled with T & A and silly gore. It's a 75 minute movie about women in New York City getting raped by slimy alien creatures and are reproducing in the subway tunnels. Is it great? Nope. Is it art? Nope. Is it fun? Yeah, it's good fun.
Another day and another disappointment from Jose Ramon Larraz... what is going on? At least I didn't hate Emma but I sort of hated ESTIGMA which is a dire bore about a teen boy who believes he is committing violent crimes telekinetically without any control of his own because it all ties back to fucking his sister and killing her in a previous life. If this thing wasn't so boring it has a sleazy set up that I'd normally be a fan of but it's just such a damn bore.
BRAINSCAN is a movie I previously enjoyed but was never crazy about. It's been several years since I last saw it and upon viewing the new Scream Factory Blu-ray I have to say that this is so wonderfully 90s that I can't stand it. The soundtrack that could have been a Kerrang! magazine compilation, to the use of CD-Rom technology and the fact that Fangoria magazine was still relevant and celebrated in the horror community this movie embodies the early part of the 90s and provides a weird industrial goth monster villain that should probably be an icon of 90s horror but somehow isn't. It's a cool look into video game and virtual reality horror ideas and is mostly successful at what it does. Sadly there's a deleted scene that has some insane practical make-up effects work during the climactic "meshing" scene that is reminded me of the special effects work done in The Thing and Society. Sadly the scene was cut but I understand why as it really didn't make any sense with how the rest of the movie played out. I do wish they had done more prosthetics and make-up effects in the film though.
