Wednesday, July 29, 2015
APPETITES (DVD Review) - Image/RLJ
Directed By: Cameron Casey
Written By: Darren Bevill
Starring: Bret Roberts, Lauren Parkinson, Travis Eberhard
Color/106 Minutes/Not Rated
Release Date: August 4, 2015
"Do you know what tattoos lead to? More tattoos!"
APPETITES is a fitting title when everything is said and done but getting to the point where all is said and done is going to be a bit of a chore. The opening ten minutes start out as an uber violent, sex driven cannibalistic horror film that has obvious influence from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House Of 1000 Corpses. Almost immediately the cannibal angle is dropped for nearly an hour while we follow a detective on the trail of "John Doe" who is our super cool guy who loves to pay women for sex and then murders them because of their tattoos. Yeah, this guy can't get passed women having tattoos, when he looks like a Kid Rock wannabe. This guy wishes he was an American badass. His super smooth (please note the thick sarcasm) lines include ordering a "whiskey and Coke, hold the Coke" and dropping "That's what she said." to girls he's hitting on. Yeah, this guy is the epitome of cool.
We follow the detectives half assed attempts at tracking down Doe and stopping his murderous rampage of all inked women while Doe sets his sights on the flawless Daisy who is one of our early cannibals along with her large and mentally unstable brother Bubba. John Doe does his best to swoon Daisy, who only manages to find her southern accent when it's convenient and certainly doesn't come across as any sort of cannibal killer, even bringing Doe to her property that is lined with booby traps for any trespassers. Eventually she gives in to Doe's advances and they begin to fool around until he sees a hidden tattoo on her hip and Doe begins to lose his cool over.
The opening scenes had me thinking that this movie was going to be nothing more than ripoff of similar classic films. I was surprised, unfortunately not pleasantly to find this to be something quite different. The cannibal angle feels tacked on to a lackluster serial killer story. Those first ten minutes could have summed up what the audience was in for (sex, cannibalism and murder) but instead it sums up what the audience hoped this movie was about. Yes, I wish this movie was a cheap knock off of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even Rob Zombie's films. APPETITES runs too long with an antagonist that is pathetically lame and no real protagonist. Thankfully there are some incredibly attractive ladies baring it all to save this movie from being a total loss.
The Audio & Video
Image/RLJ Entertainment give APPETITES a rather standard but fitting standard definition DVD release. Colors are good and clarity is good. There's a bit of crush during darker scenes but it isn't overly distracting by any means. The English audio is handled with a Dolby Digital 5.1 track that sounds good with stable and clear sound levels.
None at all.
The Bottom Line
APPETITES is a film worth watching for a few moments of violence and a few very attractive ladies but fully passable otherwise.