Sunday, March 12, 2017

SLASHER.COM (DVD Review) - Cinedigm

Directed By: Chip Gubera
Written By: Chelsea Andes, Chip Gubera
Starring: Ben Kaplan, Jewel Shepard, R.A. Mihailoff
Color/90 Minutes/Not Rated
Region 1
Release Date: March 7, 2017

The Film
Jack and Kristy have just met for the first time after talking through an online dating site. Their first date is a weekend trip to a relaxing cabin in the woods. Soon after arriving they meet the murderous family residing in the same woods as their cabin and must fight for their lives.

On the surface SLASHER.COM has a simple and familiar plot with a set up that could be countless other horror films Under the surface it attempts to throw twist after twist at the viewer but each is so obvious that if you're not batting a thousand on figuring out twists long before they happen you're simply not paying attention. The production itself is competent with a cast that is passable when they're not overacting and okay special effects.

There came a moment in the second act where the movie became so painfully serious in everything it was doing and saying that I felt like my mother had just slapped me upside the head with a frying pan while warning me about the dangers of online dating. Who in their right mind would go away for a weekend with someone they had just met anyways? At least the film attempts to explain away that giant lapse in normal people logic by having each of the characters have their own motives for getting into a situation like that but it still hurts the reality in which a slasher film about online dating needs to maintain. There's also a scene that perfectly represents what my friend Derrick Carey has coined "Chair Horror". You know, a dimly lit scene with someone tied to a chair enduring some sort of torture for a a scene that lasts entirely too long and is meant to disturb the audience. Yeah we get some of that thrown in for good measure and filmmakers need to find better ways to shock the audience because these $5 sets (a chair, some rope and an empty room) are just so overdone and underwhelming that I've had more than enough of them.

There is a bright spot to SLASHER.COM and that's the two main antagonists played by Jewel Shepard and R.A. Milhailoff. Jewel is famous for her role in Return Of The Living Dead and for that I appreciate seeing her around and she gave what I'd consider to be the best performance of the movie. Mihailoff portrayed Leatherface in the third installment of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise and he's a genuinely imposing figure and someone you can believe could create some mayhem in the backwoods. Otherwise this film is far too heavy handed in everything it does, it has a weak message and is too concerned with how many twists it can throw at us to ever deliver anything of value.

The Audio & Video
Cineidgm releases SLASHER.COM on DVD with an anamorphic widescreen transfer that looks decent for the most part. Colors and lighting are often natural and the overall picture quality is clean and clear. There are moments however where it appears equipment of far less quality was used and it looks as if you're watching the movie through a mesh screen. The 2.0 stereo English audio mix sounds fine with no background noise or damage. The levels are steady with the dialogue and soundtrack being complimentary to each other.

The Extras
This is a bare bones affair.

The Bottom Line
Skip it.

SLASHER.COM is available HERE

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